We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
