lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
