i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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