I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
