My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
