i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
