Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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