Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
