I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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