Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
