Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
