is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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