We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
