Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize