Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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