The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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