it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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