Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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