why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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