I am puke
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
