Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
