some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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