Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize