Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
