Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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