just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
