yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
