moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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