I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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