he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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