that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
