just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
