I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
