Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
