After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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