Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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