wakey wakey hands off snakey
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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