omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
