This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
