OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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