The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
