No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
