ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
