So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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