i'm signing you up for texting rehab
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
