hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
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I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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