Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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