I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
