I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So many bounce houses so little time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
