we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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