What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
