she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
