Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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