she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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