would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
