I am in a vortex of obligation.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
