i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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