Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
