hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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