Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Someone stole a lamp last night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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