I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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